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Universal Dialogue
Rufus
Ending
Gas Station Attendant: Hmm... Where'd you say you pushed this thing from? I mean, geez, this is one heavy bike. I doubt I could get it a couple hundred feet myself.
Candy: Well, my Rufus ain't no ordinary man! He's the best fighter in America, ya know! And he's a gentleman! Pushin' me around is no big deal to him. Right, Rufus?
Rufus: That's right! When I get serious, I could push a bike like that around the world seven times over! 'Course, I rolled up my sleeve and fixed 'er a while back. She can go anywhere now! But, uh, just ridin' around ain't gonna give me the thrills I'm after!
Candy: Ooooh! Rufus, I just adore you!
Rufus: Time to hit the road, Candy! Where you wanna go?
Candy: Hmmm... Lemme see... I'm gettin' a little tired of this desert heat... Got it! Wanna check out the North Pole, baby?
Rufus: I like the way you think, pudding pants! That's the greatest idea I've ever heard!
Candy: I know, right? But I've never been to the North Pole before. You know how to get there, baby?
Rufus: C'mon, Candy. That's a no-brainer! All we gotta do is head due north. Ya can't go any further north than the North Pole, right?
Candy: Wow! You're like some kinda genius!


Intro
Phew... Man, why they gotta have these fighting tournaments out in the boonies, anyways? At this rate, I'll get so much exercise just getting there that I'll end up losing weight and end up lookin' like some kinda wimp. Ha ha! Hey! You know, I bet that jerk is behind all this. It's some kinda conspiracy! And speakin' of you-know-who, another one of his look-alikes tried to step up to me the other day. Just how low is he willin' to sink, anyways? I mean, how can they just call him the number one fighter in America!? Just thinkin' about it makes my blood boil. I'm number one around here! I've got too much class to brag like that, though. It's you, Candy. With you around, honeypants, I let my mouth run off and maybe I say too much sometimes. Oh, don't look at me like that, baby. You'll get my hands sweatin' an' I'll end up losin' control of this here bike. You're the best girl in America, toots... Nah, in the world... Screw that! You're the best in the freakin' universe! If I had to sum you up in just one word, I'd say you're superhotfansexygorgeoustastic, I would! Whaddya say we pit-stop for lunch at the next place? Come to think of it, I'm not really seein' any restaurants around here. I don't think I've seen a single friggin' building today, actually. Man, we must really be in the middle of friggin' nowhere. I mean, the gas station attendant was pretty clear, right? I mean, he said go straight till the intersection, then turn where the white dog is sittin'. Right? But the dog was just, like, takin' a catnap in the middle of the road. How was I s'pposed to know which way to go? And who ever heard of a dog that sleeps flat on its back like that, anyway? That musta been Ken Masters! He totally knew I would whip his butt in the tournament, so he tried to sabotage me! Oh, you'll rue this day, Ken Masters! RUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Win Quote
Candy's really into gardening lately. Ya know those little onion-lookin' things? They kinda look like me? Oh yeah! Bulbs! So, she planted a buncha bulbs in the garden, see? An' before long...

So I was wonderin'... What's the difference between an ocean an' a sea, anyway? Is it just about size? Does the location matter? Can a sea get promoted to an ocean if it tries really hard?

I ain't just a legend in the fighting world, ya know. I'm also well-known in biker circles! Prolly considered the top biker in America! But I got my sights set even higher! One day, I'll...

Achoo!

Wataaah!

Wanna know what I like most about Candy? Too bad! That's top-secret privileged information, bub! I don't want you fallin' in love with her, too! Not that you could compete, but still...

Hobbies? Karaoke, baby! Can't get enough of it! One time Candy an' me, we rented out a karaoke box for a whole week! That was a blast! We're still payin' the owner for the busted speakers...

I drove to China on my bike the other day. What? I ain't lyin', man! I never lie! I totally drove there on my bike! Don't believe me? Check a map! I'll retrace my steps for ya!

Man, I've gotten so famous lately that I can't even walk around outside anymore without people tryin' to ask for my autograph! I'm thinkin' maybe I need a bodyguard or somethin'! For real!

There ain't nothin' I like more than a nice custom bike. It ain't just about the obvious stuff like color and shape, either. Ya gotta worry about the overall balance an' make sure it looks...

Why do women take so long to shop, anyway? Don't tell Candy I said this, but that girl took, like, 2 hours to decide between a couple of blouses that were the exact same color! No difference!

Win Quote vs. Abel
Now you know the agony of defeat, Ken Masters! What? You say I got the wrong guy? Well, you do look different from that picture I saw in the paper, but you can afford plastic surgery, so...

Win Quote vs. Adon
That's a pretty wild hairstyle ya got there, chief. You must go through a lot of hairspray, though. What about when you go to sleep... Do you get bed hair or something like that?

Win Quote vs. Akuma
I hear you say you've transcended your humanity or whatever. What's that s'posed to mean? I'm bigger than you, right? So, have I, like, transcended your transcended humanity or somethin'?

Win Quote vs. Balrog
When I was a kid, I used to be a rebel like you. A real jerk. Once, I even got a mohawk just to stick it to the man! Anyway, the man was a barber an' he cut it off pretty quick, but...

Win Quote vs. Bison
Rulin' the world sounds like it would just be a huge pain in the neck to me, man. I mean, have you ever seen the world? It's freakin' huge! Seems like a lot of responsibility to shoulder.

Win Quote vs. Blanka
You tryin' to run some kinda scam here, bub? You make with the whole cute baby animal routine, then start bitin' and shockin' when people come in close? I'll admit you're adorable, though.

Win Quote vs. Cammy
Now you know the bitter sting of defeat, Ken Masters! What? You say I got the wrong person? Ha ha! No way, Masters! You just dressed as an English girl to try an' fool me! I know it!

Win Quote vs. Chun Li
Phew! What a great fight! I mean, I totally whipped you good! Hey! Don't look at me like that, lady! It so happens that I'm spoken for! The only girl I need is Candy! Take a hike, toots!

Win Quote vs. Cody
Defeat looks good on you, Ken Masters! What? You say I got the wrong guy? No way, man! I recognize the hair! What's with the outfit, though. Did you pull a dine an' dash or somethin'?

Win Quote vs. Crimson Viper
Hold on there, lady! You're tellin' me all that fire an' electricity an' whatnot was from hidden gadgets? You mean to tell me that's not against the rules? Wait, seriously?

Win Quote vs. Dan
How does it feel to ride the defeat train, Ken Masters? Next stop: Failureville! Population: you! What? You say I got the wrong guy? Fat chance! You're just embarrassed about losin'!

Win Quote vs. Dee Jay
The only sound I'm interested in hearin' is the sound of my bike's muffler spewin' life-giving carbon dioxide while I cruise the whole world with my best gal ridin' alongside me! Yeah!

Win Quote vs. Dhalsim
Speaking of India, I took my girl Candy to a curry restaurant the other day - one where you can pick how spicy you want it. I always get the spiciest! Candy tried it, and lemme tell ya...

Win Quote vs. Dudley
Don't worry about me, man. I may not look the part, but I'm a consummate gentleman! I never kick a man when he's down an' I usually remember to excuse myself after I belch! So, anyway...

Win Quote vs. El Fuerte
Sorry, pal, I'm a pretty finicky eater. I only eat burgers, hot dogs, fries, pizza, onion rings, spaghetti, sandwiches, chicken, steak, pork chops, mashed potatoes, coleslaw, roast beef...

Win Quote vs. Fei Long
True kung fu masters are quiet types, man. They don't go around starrin' in movies and whatnot. You gotta be more stoic and reserved like me, man. Just stare people down and stay quiet.

Win Quote vs. Gen
Y'know, my gramma always told me to treat my elders with respect, so I'll let you off easy. She also used to say somethin' about never eatin' vegetables. Or... Wait...

Win Quote vs. Gouken
Is it true that you actually died and came back from the dead? You don't look like no zombie to me, though. Dude, you're not gonna try to eat my brain, are ya? It's not very big. Honest!

Win Quote vs. Guile
Now you know the taste of defeat, Ken Masters! What? I got the wrong guy? No way, pal! You're just tryin' to confuse me so you can orchestrate your escape! Well, it's too late for that!

Win Quote vs. Guy
Hang on there, bub. You don't look like no ninja to me, man. Where's your scrolls an' your throwing stars, an' your mask? An' what kind of ninja wears sneakers like that? Explain yourself!

Win Quote vs. Hakan
Dude! Duuuude! What is that? Why are you covered in oil, man? Were you about to make a big batch of popcorn an' you kinda had an accident or somethin'? I mean, when I make popcorn, I...

Win Quote vs. Honda
What the heck is a sumo wrestler doin' here, anyway? Aren't you guys only s'posed to wrestle each other in some kinda special ring or somethin'? Isn't fightin' outsiders against your code?

Win Quote vs. Ibuki
Holy crap! A ninja! A real-life ninja! Candy! Candy, baby, come quick! Get a load of this! A real ninja! She threw ninja stars at me an' everything! Isn't this awesome! Let's get a picture!

Win Quote vs. Juri
Dang, that hurt! Are you nuts? You came after me like you was really tryin' to hurt me! What would you do if I'da gotten all messed up? Does your insurance cover stuff like that or what?

Win Quote vs. Ken
How does it feel to suffer a defeat at the hands of your rival, Ken Masters? Stop pretendin' you don't know who I am! Everybody knows the mighty Rufus! Seriously. Just ask around. I'm famous!

Win Quote vs. Makoto
How does defeat feel, Ken Masters? What? You say I got the wrong person? Gimme a break, man. I know your outfit when I see it. An' I know you don't wear shoes. It has to be you! I know it!

Win Quote vs. Oni
Dude, if you keep fighting like that, you're gonna lose a ton of calories! You know how long it took to get this killer bod of mine!? I had to eat 100 eggs, then 50 steaks for breakfast!

Win Quote vs. Rose
I never really believed in destiny until I met my Candy. When our eyes first met, I thought I was gonna have a heart attack! Heck, maybe I did. I don't remember the details all too well.

Win Quote vs. Ryu
How does it feel to suffer a crushing defeat, Ken Masters? What? You say I got the wrong guy? No way, man! I recognize the outfit! You say you just studied together? I ain't buyin' it!

Win Quote vs. Sagat
How often do you shave your head, man? Is it, like, an everyday thing or what? Does it itch when it grows back? You might wanna try some aloe or some kinda cream or whatever for that.

Win Quote vs. Sakura
I don't get my jollies beatin' up on schoolkids, alright? This is a tournament an' I was just followin' the rules is all. What? Ryu? Nope, never heard of him. So, anyway, like I was sayin'...

Win Quote vs. Seth
What's your deal, man? Askin' me to show you my moves. Why? You gonna try to copy 'em or somethin'? You don't have what it takes! My moves are custom-tailored to my body! Mine! All mine!

Win Quote vs. T. Hawk
You wanna know the secret of lookin' cool in the ring? It's all about the stance, man. I try to slump my shoulders and sorta let my body flap around. That, and I scream "Woo!" a lot.

Win Quote vs. Vega
Taste the bittersweet saltiness of your own defeat, Ken Masters! You say I got the wrong guy? You can't fool me, Masters! You're wearin' that mask to disguise your identity! But I'm onto ya!

Win Quote vs. Yang
Hey, you ever see a panda in China? The other day Candy was saying how cute those things were, y'know? What? I do not look like a panda! What's wrong with you!? Well, anyway, Candy said...

Win Quote vs. Zangief
How much time do you spend now workin' out? Like, 2 minutes in a day? Don't you watch the news? A high body fat percentage is the key to a strong immune system! Dontcha wanna be healthy like me!?